As a sleep coach, I often hear parents ask: "How much crying is too much crying when it comes to sleep training?" It's a question that’s loaded with concern. Most parents wonder how long it’s okay to let their baby cry before it becomes harmful. I get it—seeing your little one upset is never easy. But let me reassure you: there’s no magic number for crying during sleep training, and no, it won’t cause long-term harm.
Sleep training can be a big change for both you and your baby, but it’s important to understand that crying isn’t something to fear. It’s a natural response to a new experience, especially when your baby is learning to fall asleep independently. And yes, this can involve a bit of crying—but this doesn’t mean you’re doing something wrong. In fact, it can actually be part of the process and support your baby which leads to better sleep for your baby (and for you!).
Why Does My Baby Cry During Sleep Training?
Before we dive deeper into how much crying is acceptable, it's crucial to consider "why" your baby is crying. The first step is to rule out anything that might require immediate attention. If your baby is sick, in pain, or uncomfortable, those are signs you need to comfort them right away. However, if your baby is crying because they are:
1. Learning to fall asleep on their own.
2. Expressing their dislike of the new routine.
…then this is where sleep training comes in. "Your baby is simply figuring out how to self-soothe" and fall asleep without help. And yes, this process can involve some protest. Crying, in this case, is a sign that they’re working through the transition and trying to adjust to the new skill of self-soothing.
The Truth About "Too Much" Crying
One of the biggest misconceptions about sleep training is that there’s a specific amount of crying that’s “acceptable” or “safe.” In reality, there’s no exact number of minutes that determines if a baby’s crying is too much. What’s more important is your approach to sleep training and how you support your child through the process.
For parents who are concerned about crying, I recommend a gentle approach. My coaching is all about creating a strategy tailored to your baby’s specific needs while minimizing the amount of crying as much as possible. I believe in using a calm, step-by-step method that teaches your child to self-soothe while providing plenty of emotional support for parents along the way.
How My 1:1 Coaching Can Help Minimize Tears
Every child is different, and so is every parenting style. This is where personalized coaching really shines. I specialize in 1:1 coaching, where I work closely with parents to design a sleep training plan that aligns with their family’s needs and values. This is key in reducing unnecessary crying.
Through our sessions, we’ll create a customized plan for your baby, troubleshoot any challenges as they arise, and give you the tools to support your baby through the transition. Most importantly, I’ll be there to guide you emotionally through the ups and downs, making sure you never feel alone in the process.
I understand how overwhelming it can be when your baby cries, and that’s why I’m committed to helping you approach sleep training in a way that feels comfortable for both you and your little one. With the right support, the transition can be smoother and less stressful for everyone involved.
What Happens if Sleep is Disrupted After Training?
It’s important to know that even after your baby is sleep trained, sleep disruptions are still normal and will happen. As your child grows and reaches milestones, they might experience sleep disruptions every couple of months. Illness, teething, or developmental leaps can all lead to occasional wake-ups, but don’t worry—your child’s ability to self-soothe will not disappear. As long as you maintain the foundation of independent sleep, your baby will continue to use the skills they’ve learned.
If your baby is sick or upset, of course, it’s okay to offer comfort. But even during these disruptions, your child should continue to practice self-soothing. In my coaching, I’ll help you navigate these situations and support you in keeping the sleep training foundation intact.
What About Older Kids?
Sleep training doesn’t end with infancy. As your child gets older, they may start to vocalize their frustration and say things like “I’m scared” or “I don’t want to sleep.” This can be even harder for parents to handle, especially when their child can communicate.
However, responding to their cries in a way that encourages more interaction can often increase the crying. I know it can be hard to resist the urge to comfort your child immediately, but if they’re healthy and their needs have been met, sometimes the best approach is to reassure them briefly and allow them the space to fall asleep on their own.
By maintaining a consistent sleep routine and offering reassurance when needed, your child will continue to develop the ability to self-soothe and sleep independently.
Moving Forward with Confidence
The journey of sleep training doesn’t have to be filled with fear or uncertainty. With the right support and strategy, your baby can learn to fall asleep independently, and you can feel confident in your approach. I’m here to guide you every step of the way. If you’d like to explore how my 1:1 coaching can help you navigate sleep training and make better sleep a reality for your family, schedule a free discovery call today. Together, we’ll create a personalized plan that minimizes tears and helps your baby get the rest they need.
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